Public Health+Guilty White Liberals with Cats+Too Much Disposible Income= Feline Wellness Magazine

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Imagine my surprise at Berkeley Bowl, perhaps the avatar of everything Berkeley (hand made signs with the price of everything, locally grown organic vegetables, an obscenely esoteric collection of produce) to discover yet a new level of Berkliness: Feline Wellness Magazine.

First of all the title: "Wellness" is rapidly replacing "Health" as the buzzword in Public Health (err Public Wellness?) circles. Health denotes biological health, wellness by contrast denotes a holistic vision of what it means to be healthy, not just disease free but emotionally, physically, spiritually, and perhaps even financially sound. It's the kind of word that's used less by doctors (in my experience) and more by unemployed or underemployed graduates of public health programs, or as is my life, proprietors of alternative medical practices.

Second of all, the articles:

"Check her Chakras" whose subheading is, "Does your kitty seem stressed or out of sorts? This energetic healing modality can help balance and revitalize her."

Ok, why is the assumption the cat is a female? Is this article over-correcting for some male-centric cat wellness trend I'm not aware of? And "healing modality?" Does aligning Chakras actually have an effect if the subject of the therapy has no conception of chakras, Eastern medicine, or for that matter language, cause and effect, or wellness???

Also in this issue

"Perfect pawtraits: Given the feline nature, photographing your kitty can be something of a challenge. But with patience and perseverance, along with a few useful tips for the best results, you can snap successful pictures."

I'm sorry but is this wellness magazine advocating photographing your cat against HER will? Doesn't sound like a recipe for wellness to me!

And perhaps my favorite,

"On a roll: Is your feline friend an indoor kitty? Are you worried he might not be getting enough exercise? Believe it or not, you can raise his activity level by training him to walk on a treadmill!"

This sounds suspiciously like the hippie version of putting your cat on Prozac. Also why is the cat in this article a he? Is this the kind of subconscious male-centric kitty wellness trend this magazine is claiming to guard against? Honestly the best thing for your cat's wellness is probably sending HER to the country to frolic in the sun and grass where SHE can chase and hunt small animals, and perhaps even find true love with a male cat that respects her for who SHE is! That way your cat won't get fat, fidgety, and out of alignment like so many American children.

Of course Berkeley is a captive market for this kind of magazine. In 2001 the Berkeley City Council declared that pet owners in the city now be referred to as "owners/guardians" changing the role of pets from property to "fellow creatures." This is in addition to an earlier vote that requires pets officially be referred to as "animal companions". The SF Chronicle discussed the change at the time and foreshadowed things to come with this quote from a dog owner who felt "like my dogs are my kids." No wonder Bezerklians are so concerned about their animal companions, they remind them of the crazy, obese, fidgety children that their permissive Nor Cal parenting is responsible for!

Only the affluent, uber-compassionate, owner/guardians of Berkeley could give rise to such a magazine. Stay tuned next month for what will doubtless by a hard hitting expose on how vaccines are responsible for kitty autism.